by Faina Sechzer of www.gettingwelllivingbig.com
I feed my love of live by making sure I get a daily "yes" answer to the four most important questions and pillars in my life:
1. Did I love fully?
2. Did I do what I love?
3. Did I live healthy?
4. Did I build legacy?
I devised these questions after my breast cancer diagnosis on 2009. Facing my own mortality and questioning my life and impact on the world, I felt the urgency for loving and making the most of my life going forward.
These are some of the specific ways I re-designed my life path to feed my love of life.
This is the most important of the four pillars. I make a priority to love myself. Despite the prevailing view that selfishness is a negative trait I view loving myself as positive and necessary part of loving life.
Having achieved great professional and financial success, I gave up the pursuit of perfection and numerical results as definitions of success. l love myself for my essence, which is not defined by my job, money or other outside measures.
The unloved self could not give much to others. I love others by not judging and accepting each person as they are -understanding that we all are products of our childhood, genes and life experiences. When I gave up perfectionism from myself, I stop being extra demanding of others.
I make sure I spend time with people who are important to me.
I express gratitude daily to those I give love and those who give me love, but I don't expect reciprocity. I love because it feels good to me.
Doing what I love
I loved a lot about what I did before, but the priority was to achieve professional and financial success. For example, my demanding job left little energy and time to travel, which is one of my passions.
I received my MSEE at the age of 22, only to find out that I absolutely hate engineering, having pursued this degree because that's what people said I should do, given my math abilities. Thankfully, I was smart then to course correct, and find careers I enjoyed better.
Not until my post cancer decision to feed my love of life, did I completely switched professions. I am now a Health & Life Recovery Coach helping feed the love of their lives for woman cancer survivors and those facing major life challenges.
The skeptic in me didn't relate to those saying they "found their calling". Yet, this is exactly what I feel now for the first time in my life.
I travel -and recently, with some trepidation and uncertainty about my physical strength, I took a trip around the world.
Reading and learning for me are as food and water are for others. I probably learned more in the last two years, then in the 16 years of my formal education.
I dance just for the pure pleasure of moving my body.
I find time to meditate twice a day, something I thought only the 60's hippies do.
I now firmly believe in the mind body connection and take care of both with utmost care.
I always belonged to an organized religion. But only after discovering my internal spirituality, I understand it's impact on my health. I allocate time to practice my spirituality with the same importance as healthy eating and exercise.
Most of my life was the life of stress. You can't feed your love of life when you are stressed. Finding peace of mind is one way I feed my love of life.
Being in a place that is nurturing helps reduce our energy drains - I make my home and office places I feel good to be in. I love water and am planning for being on the water more, giving the constraints of my husband's career.
Feeding my love of life would be leaving dessert out of the menu without building impacting other lives that need what you can give.
I offer free workshops, talks, newsletter and participate in the community of women cancer survivors. When I help even women, I feed my love of life a great meal and am thrilled to know the world is a better place for them.
My dream is to help women to live healthy and happy lives and being masters of their destiny. I have a plan for making this dream a reality for those who want it.